nikkiSCAPE

I have absolutely no idea what I want to do for a living. What I really want to be is an artist, but lately as I've been working on little doodles, just fun stuff, I feel pressured to do better. My skills now won't get me anywhere, and that just stresses me out. I know I have years to improve, but it still bugs me. So I decided to throw that career out for now, maybe I'll feel more relaxed, and i think if I'm relaxed, I'll improve better since I'm focusing on what I need to do to improve and practicing instead of how terrible the piece I'm working on is.

I always figured I'd want a backup plan, and that was to be a teacher. I don't remember why I came to this conclusion. Thinking about it now, I realize I'd be a terrible teacher. I'm quiet and I have a short temper. This would be me as a teacher after my patience is worn down by stupid kids "Can I go to the bathroom" "STOP ASKING ME THAT. SIT THE F&!@ DOWN. Now our lesson today... (mumble mumble)" I get good enough grades to be a doctor... Maybe a medicinal doctor... I don't know. Huh... that's something to consider. I don't think I'd totally hate it... I might change my mind after thinking about it more thoroughly.

I also think I'd like to be a writer. I have one problem with that... I can always think of little parts of a story, like frosting. But I can't ever think of a main plot, like cake. Frosting is no good without cake. Or cookies, if you like shorter stories. Unless you're my brother. (Once he scooped a spoonful of tartersauce and ate it thinking it was frosting. He stopped eating spoonfuls of frosting since then) Usually I have this impulse to write when I'm reading a really good book, usually about or with a character that would like to be an author. Heh.

I don't know why, but not knowing what I want to do with my life just scares the crap out of me. I'm relaxing now though. I think a doctor would be a pretty good job for me... Not a surgeon though. I'm a bit squeamish. :P